Stage 1 — Coffee
Barney spawns in facility corridors. Hand over exactly 1x Coffee. The quest state advances to Stage 2.
Stage 2 — Coffee + Suitcase
Barney respawns randomly. Hand over 1x Coffee AND accept the 'Suitcase' item prompt. The Suitcase permanently occupies an inventory slot.
Stage 3 — Coffee + Photo
Barney respawns randomly. Hand over 1x Coffee AND 1x Picture. Barney reclaims the Suitcase, freeing the inventory slot.
Stage 4 — Scalpel (Room 8)
Barney respawns randomly. Hand over 1x Scalpel. The Scalpel has a fixed spawn location in Room 8 — be aware of the Room 8 Tentacle Hazard and its 45-second window during patient healing.
Stage 5 — Police Event
Barney requests sanctuary in the central Office. Hostile Police NPCs generate at the front desk. REFUSE to surrender Barney — the Police despawn, and Barney allows you to open the Suitcase, concluding the questline.
Reward: 2.0x Coffee Speed
Completing Barney unlocks a permanent secondary Coffee Machine and a 2.0x (200%) coffee-brewing speed multiplier for the lobby. This is the single most impactful economic upgrade in the game and the foundation for late-game Window Banger pacification.